Lifter 'A', let's call him Bob. Bob wants to "bulk" to build muscle quickly. Bob is probably already too high in fat to begin a massing phase, but he heard about "newb gains" in the first year of lifting, so Bob dives in with reckless abandon. He signs up at a local gym, eager to get jacked.
Bob starts with an incorrect TDEE estimation he thinks he can trust, since it came from a TDEE "calculator". But it's only an estimate based off of self-reporting of activity level. Bob fancies himself as far more active than he is, though in actuality he will be adding only 3 or 4 days of gym stuff to his otherwise sedentary life. Bob avoids cardio & conditioning work altogether, because he heard it will make building muscle harder. He only wants to do enough lifting to grow, and nothing more. Bob is lucky if he follows any program at all...
What Bob does for the first 6 months is not a proper program, it's just a routine; it's just a list of exercises, and some of them he doesn't bother with. He does the same 3 sets of 10 for a couple lifts, mostly arms; and he doesn't squat at all because he thinks his legs are large enough. His leg size is mostly due to fat, though. Or maybe he squats once or twice per month. Because he wants extra definition. But hitting legs sucks, and is demotivating. He adds a little weight to the bar now and then.
Bob does some flat bench, some light overhead dumbbell work, plenty of bicep curls of course, cable-flyes etc., but no real pulling to speak of. Yes, he does some lat pull-downs, because bodybuilders do them. But Bob cannot do a single pull-up, because he's "training for size, not strength", whatever that means. He certainly doesn't deadlift, because Bob heard horror stories about shattered backs & slipped discs. Besides, he doesn't really see the point. Bob is mostly preoccupied with his one-rep max for bench. But he also misses days here and there, worried that he shouldn't train while sore; or let's be honest, he just didn't feel like it.
Bob started out roughly counting calories for a month, but this turned into estimates, and soon gave way to just eating anything and everything he wanted. "It doesn't matter, I'm bulking!". If a pound per week is normal, 5 or 6 per month should be okay, maybe even better? He surely doesn't wanna waste those "newb gains" he heard about. Bob eats pizza, burgers, anything, everything, but he always remembers to drink a scoop of whey twice per day. Protein will make this happen! He wants to make the most of this Dreamer bulk he's on, and he plugs away at the same minimalist program month after month. Maybe half-way through the year he finally tries to follow an odd program he found somewhere, but Bob doesn't really push himself.
To be fair, Bob did see some real progress in the first month or two, since he was using some of these muscles for the first time. They responded with a little growth, because new lifters will respond to anything. He looked & felt even bigger in the third month, since everything was definitely "bigger". He was holding more water overall, but then fat cells started filling up too. Bob kind of fucks around in the gym for about 60 minutes, when his workout routine would take anyone else only 30 minutes to complete, between all his mirror-posing and trips to the water fountain. He is good at tying up equipment.
Bob weighs himself only once every two weeks or so. Six months go by. Eight months. Bob feels huge, and he is. Oh, Bob does not train abs because "you can't see them, anyways!" Bob did not even start his bulk with abs, so he had no "abs" to lose. He knows "some" of the mass in his midsection is fat. Or is it? Is it food? Yes, it is also food, some of it from the day before. But Bob is stoked because of all the "sick gains" he's making. He knows he should "cut" as some point, to get shredded and reveal all the muscle he thinks he has built. But he still wants to make the most of this first bulk...
A year goes by. Bob has gained 50 pounds; five of them were water, ten pounds (at most) were muscle. Bob has 35 more pounds of fat now. Bob has fucked up his bulk. He is bummed and blames his "bad genetics".
Lifter 'B', let's call him "Greg". Greg also wants to start lifting, and build muscle. He will likewise dedicate his first year of lifting to this task of bulking. Greg has read a little more beforehand, on such topics as training and diet, so he enters this thing a bit more knowledgeable. He has found a good free program online, and he rearranges a few things in his schedule to accommodate lifting 6 days per week.
Yes, he's a full-time student, and also has a part-time job. But he's always been enthralled by a well-developed physique, so he will prioritize this. Sure, some things are on hold. He still has a good social life. Greg wakes up early to lift first thing in the morning. He is fortunate to join a gym that's only a 12-minute bike ride from his home. He eats a snack in transit, squeezes in a full session at the gym in only 43 minutes, rides back, showers, and drinks a meal-replacement shake. Then he properly begins his day.
He'd prefer to not lift so early, but that's what works for Greg at this time. He is mindful to follow his program, increasing weight when prescribed. He hits a different main lift each day in the gym, followed by a supplemental variation of the main lift, and then several accessory movements including opposite muscle groups and some isolation work. Greg is able to super-set the last 3 exercises in the interest of time. In all, it's compact & well-structured. It works well!
All his compound lifts are going up, and he is visibly more muscular after only four months. He started on a decent introductory program which worked well enough, then Greg found a better program with more volume and a greater focus on certain body parts, and greater frequency for his favorite lifts. He was better prepared when he switched to it, since he'd built a base of strength first. He even looks forward to squatting & deadlifting!
How does Greg eat? For the first 2 months he ate only slightly more food, because he was clearly hungrier from the additional effort. But he wanted to get a good baseline approximation of his personal calorie intake, since he was still learning to track calories accurately. Greg invested in a food scale, and a small amount of containers with lids; he settled on 3 or 4 different meals he didn't mind eating regularly. This was in addition to his post-training meal-shakes, and several snacks. He made a point of eating more protein overall, mindful to include green veggies, and healthful fats. Carbs made it easier to hit his calorie targets.
After ironing out the kinks of cooking, meal-prep, and bringing a cooler with food to re-heat while at work etc, Greg also arrived at a good figure for how many calories he now burned in an average day, in response to the amount of activity he now performed. It was only then that he decided to eat in a clear calorie surplus. He settled on +350 calories more than he burned, with the goal of gaining roughly 3 pounds per month.
Greg quickly weighed himself each morning after the bathroom, and recorded the number. This only took him 20 seconds. He would find his average weight each week, to track his rate of change over time. And although he bicycles to the gym in the morning (and to work!), he also added a brisk 1/2 hour walk twice per week, in the interest of minimizing fat gain while bulking. Around 6 or 7 months in, Greg started getting sincere compliments from extended family members (not just, "my, how you've grown!", but, "Wow Greg, you're starting to look jacked!"). Classmates also responded with more attention, and he began to exude confidence.
Every couple of months, he would need to adjust calories slightly, to maintain the same gain over time. He makes it to the end of a year of consistent lifting & disciplined eating. How was Greg's bulk? His scale weight went up a solid 30 pounds! Yes, he probably added 10-12 pounds of fat, but the rest was all lean body mass. And since he started out lean, he still had good definition in his stomach. Abs slightly blurrier, but still there. His arms were more vascular. Greg even had some striations in his chest and shoulders. In all, it was a very reasonable massing phase.
At this point, Greg chooses to cut for 10-12 weeks, in order to trim some of the fluff away. He wants to realize a little more muscular definition before bulking again, yet at a slightly slower rate this time. Bob, however, has not yet started his cut, because he's afraid to "catabolize" his hard-earned "muscle". Bob is currently an outspoken member of NattyOrJuice, shouting down pictures of guys such as Greg, claiming his physique can't possibly be attained by a natural drug-free lifter in such a short period of time...
The END
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note: You may notice there are no witty images to accompany this Tale. The intention is not to body-shame a physique, and I didn't want to depict a failed bulk with an unflattering photograph. The purpose is simply to highlight many of the common training mistakes. Likewise, as efforts & results will always differ, the results of an optimal first bulk for you will also vary. As long as you begin the journey to achieve your own personal best, that's all that matters.
Let's All Go Forth And Gain in 2021!
